Not the Final Chapter – Page 2 – Life in a Continuing Care Retirement Community

Forest Wildlife

MESSENGER

As I did stand my watch upon the hill,
I looked toward Birnam, and anon methought
The wood began to move.

Macbeth, Shakespeare
Act 5, Scene 5

We were so thrilled with the view in back of our villa. We have a short expanse of grass bordering an old growth forest. It was cold weather. We were treated to a small herd of deer walking across the larger field every evening. They were so lovely in the snow. We also had Chippy, our resident chipmunk who sat on the same branch every day just outside our kitchen window. There is no rose without thorns. Our lovely forest harbors many forest critters. I have seen thus far: salamanders, mice (in our villa), a snake (came in the door and went right back outside) centipedes, large and small ants, spiders, squirrels, rabbits, raccoons, opossums, chipmunks, tree frogs, roly-polys, mosquitoes and flies. Last night the mousetrap under my bed snapped shut in the middle of the night. I did not sleep well. Jim said, “Well, look at that!” NO, I don’t want to see it! Prior to buying traps, there was a lot of running around while screaming. But then….we have a beautiful, rare view. We see many unusual birds. I refuse to be driven out by forest critters.

What to Bring With You

This post is kinda personal, as it shows a major failure on my part to consider everything that I might need at our new home. Chalk it up to my being a guy, thus not likely to ask around the new neighborhood before our move to find out what sorts of things I might need. When we moved, we auctioned off every last garden tool I had, and believe me, I had one of everything. I didn’t realize, nor did I even ask the question, that each villa has an area in front and in back that is the owners to do with what he or she wants. The person who lived in our villa before us was not a gardener, so I had basically a blank slate to work with.

For a small fee to cover the cost of the lumber, the maintenance staff at Otterbein Pemberville built me two 2’x6′ flower/vegetable boxes. At the local nursery, I found a wide assortment of hostas, spireas, tomato plants, and annual flowers. And, you guessed it, I had to buy new garden tools to plant and care for them.

So, the advice I have in this post is to take a close look at the new villa or apartment, ask the neighbors lots of questions, and find out BEFORE you downsize your household what you are likely to need when you move. I didn’t think it through, and I really regret it.

What?! Free Yoga and Cable TV!

As part of the registration process, Otterbein Pemberville included a form for us to list all our current expenses at the house, for example, taxes, utilities, cable TV, repairs, etc. These figures were written in a column, beside which was another column of what those costs would be at Otterbein, which were all pretty much “Free” or “No Charge.” Bottom line, Otterbein bears the expense of cable channels, utilities, taxes, and all repairs. When we compared the two columns, we saw that it was essentially a wash — we would be almost breaking even in the bargain! (That’s not quite true, but close enough.)

The cable TV is a real bargain, and among the channels is Otterbein Pemberville’s own internal channel (more about that in a future post), but it doesn’t include the Internet, which is a small expense for a blindingly fast connection (over 100 mbits, for you geeks). What we didn’t fully realize is that the Village offers all kinds of free programs, such as concerts, excercise classes, and my favorite, yoga four times a week. The yoga instructor, Cassandra, teaches in the local university’s music department, and she and her significant other perform in a live concert once a month here. She’s even had some of her students perform, as well. And this is just the tip of the iceberg, as far as musical performances go, but more about that in a future post.

It seems like every week Otterbein Pemberville has a tour arranged at a nearby tourist attraction, transportation provided, often meal included (for a small, extra fee). These are first-rate tours, and the food is prepared by local restaurants. The bus is air-conditioned, the tours are guided, and the experience always unforgettable!

This is just a sampling of the perks at the Village. I bring them up here for two reasons — 1) There’s plenty to do that would cost a lot of money if you did it in your old life; and 2) Every time you take a class or go on a tour, think of it as lowering the cost of living at a CCRC. You just might learn something new in the process.

Take Some Honey and Plenty of Money

You will move things you don’t need. Things will get lost until found, if ever. You will make purchases that won’t work. Every day more packages arrive. You will give away what doesn’t work. Furniture will be moved around until things finally settle. It will take far longer to organize your home than you expected. You will encounter frustration as you struggle with new appliances. You had a gas stove, now an electric stove. You will have to organize and sort everything you brought with you to make your life easier. Jim contrives and builds creative solutions, including a small patio fence for Kiki. Kiki seemed to be at home the moment she walked in the door.

A Frightening Detour

A digression before I get to life in this place. The day we came out to inspect our villa before signing the paperwork, a bad thing happened. I experienced what we thought might be a stroke. EMTs arrived, very hot ones as I recall, sick as I was. Our local hospital just around the corner was on bypass because of COVID, so I had to be taken to a nearby town. We spent the day there having endless tests. We arrived home at 10:30 p.m. with no apparent ill effects and nothing wrong. I had trouble swallowing for a few weeks, but no other symptoms. Wine helped. There were moments of terror and grief as I thought we had waited too long and the move was ruined. Not so. Here we are, Jim, Kiki and I on a hot summer day with the AC cooling our cozy, peaceful villa.

Your Last Shirt Will Have No Pockets

Do not wait too long to make this move. It was clear that the house was too much for us. We weren’t even using all of the rooms. Jim struggled with the huge property summer and winter. The yard work was endless. We did not want either one of us to be left alone in our house. It was packed full along with a 2-car garage and an attic. No basement, thank God. Give away treasures, even jewelry, to family or friends who will enjoy them. Purge your stuff ruthlessly. I struggled with about 300 clothes hangers after the move. We brought too many towels and bedding. You will be so glad later that you got rid of so much useless weight. As for the auction, you will be lucky to break even after all the new things you will buy for your villa. Have you ever had to clean out a house after a loved one’s death? It is horrible. We refused to leave that last chapter for our family or children. No one should have to do that job. At least here there is a small space which makes it difficult to fill it with things you don’t need anymore. I did have to buy a pancake turner at the Dollar Store after the move. Be sure to take two with you.

Making the Decision

We visited a number of retirement communities. The one we chose was a large complex and we felt at home there, plus we could afford the fees and monthly rent. One problem, though. We had a large four bedroom three bath ranch home. I had my own private bathroom. I refused to share a bathroom and demanded a two bath villa. We got a call in a few months that here was a villa available, but alas, only one bathroom. I was asked if we wanted it. I said yes. I had been thinking, who was I to demand my own bathroom? How unreasonable. Believe it or not, that has not been a problem in any way as Jim and I are on different schedules for showers, etc. Lavender scent sticks, some scent spray and you’re all set.

The Three Fates: Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos

In Greek mythology, there were three Fates: Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. Clotho, the spinner, was the youngest of the three goddesses of fate; she spun the thread of fate with a distaff, determining when a person was born; Lachesis measured the length of the thread to determine the length of life; finally, the cruel Atropos cut the thread of life, determining the time of death.

Jim adjusted long before I accepted what we had done. I think women have a harder time making a move to a retirement community. All of the objects I had kept and protected all those years were gone. Well, not all. I took the things I could not live without. Things….those with shelves or drawers because our new home would be very small. All of the rest went to auction and away it all flew like down from a thistle. Well, almost all. Two days before turning the house keys over to the new owner, we were left with a TV cabinet that sold, but was never picked up. We got rid of it by offering it to a vintage store free. We even delivered it to him!

What can you expect from the stress? Possibly a severe attack of hives, extreme sleepiness and a sense of living in an altered state for a while. After the move, I slept….and slept…and napped…thereby proving to myself that I was truly old and belonged here. Then without warning, the idea of a nap seemed rather dim-witted. It was all part of adjusting. Next I will tell you about two angels who came to my door, and how and why we made this decision.

Moving to a Retirement Community

Carolyn and I had been thinking about downsizing for several years, but we never seemed to find the time to actually carry out that crazy plan. We thought about a condo, but the tight housing market where we were living ruled that out. So, how do you downsize when there are no condos available and moving to another house would be just trading one set of headaches for another? Renting made no sense, as our house was paid off. If moving to a rental would give us more cash flow, it would also probably give us bad, and possibly psychotic, neighbors!

Enter the Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). So, you might well ask, “What the heck is a CCRC?” Well, the official definition is: A continuing care retirement community, sometimes known as a life plan community, is a type of retirement community in the U.S. where a continuum of aging care needs—from independent living, assisted living, and skilled nursing care—can all be met within the community. Ok, it’s a nursing home, right? Wrong! That’s only one component of a CCRC. The emphasis is on “continuing,” from independent living (villas and apartments) to assisted living to skilled nursing, all there if (actually, when) you need it.

So, one big decision, lots of small decisions, one pandemic, a sale of the house, and an online auction for all the stuff we no longer needed, and on a cold Febuary day, a moving van, and the die was cast. For better or worse, we had made the move.

Here we are, in a two-bedroom villa with a sunroom. We think we made the right decision, and that’s where this blog comes in. Over the next weeks and months, we hope to use a good deal of humor while consuming perhaps a glass of wine or two to show the lighter side of life in a CCRC. The people, the culture, the perks, and the the quirks. We don’t see a downside, so we’ll skip that for now. We believe that this is the future for the post-work population, sometimes called “retirees,” so the more you know…