We can’t return, we can only look behind
“The Circle Game” – Joni Mitchell
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
We now live in a new community. No matter how lovely your previous home was, you cannot go back. Who would want to go back to the worry and fear about being left as a widow in that huge house? It snowed the first week we moved into our villa. I lay on my bed, looking out the window at the falling snow and felt a strong sense of peace and well-being. The move was over and we had landed at last. Today the house is arranged and Kiki is happy. She was a big worry for me. It turns out that she is quite popular. She enjoys her two walks a day with no cars. Visitors come and go, always petting her. I look back, but I don’t feel any desire to go back. I’ve had years of having to do hours of housework and cleaning so many houses. Like Emily in “Our Town,” I would like to go back to my parents’ house on Clinton Street for one day. I think that the emotions would be too painful, so I’ll stay in the present. Jim just took Kiki for a walk and a man is cutting our grass. No going back, Carolyn.
