“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
My mother would admonish me if I stared at people with disabilities. She would say, “Don’t gawk!” When you come here, you will see people in all stages of aging, including those who need assistive devices to get around. You will not see children, babies, teenagers or motorcyclists. At first it was shocking to see some of the people who are really old. I didn’t think I belonged here. I have trouble walking and tire easily. Jim always says, “There’s a reason we’re here.” There are many more women residents than men. Some people tell you the same story or ask the same questions again and again. You have to be patient. Be compassionate. We are one of the lucky couples still together. I take care of the house and organization. Jim does all of the heavy lifting. I feel like a whiny little b—h when I see others here who are alone or frail. You will think at first that you made the wrong decision. What are your other options? Stay in your home into your eighties and let someone else decide where you will go? You can choose your own CCRC while you are still healthy in mind and body. Just remember, when you first move in, “Don’t Gawk!”
