You will move things you don’t need. Things will get lost until found, if ever. You will make purchases that won’t work. Every day more packages arrive. You will give away what doesn’t work. Furniture will be moved around until things finally settle. It will take far longer to organize your home than you expected. You will encounter frustration as you struggle with new appliances. You had a gas stove, now an electric stove. You will have to organize and sort everything you brought with you to make your life easier. Jim contrives and builds creative solutions, including a small patio fence for Kiki. Kiki seemed to be at home the moment she walked in the door.
Month: July 2022
A Frightening Detour
A digression before I get to life in this place. The day we came out to inspect our villa before signing the paperwork, a bad thing happened. I experienced what we thought might be a stroke. EMTs arrived, very hot ones as I recall, sick as I was. Our local hospital just around the corner was on bypass because of COVID, so I had to be taken to a nearby town. We spent the day there having endless tests. We arrived home at 10:30 p.m. with no apparent ill effects and nothing wrong. I had trouble swallowing for a few weeks, but no other symptoms. Wine helped. There were moments of terror and grief as I thought we had waited too long and the move was ruined. Not so. Here we are, Jim, Kiki and I on a hot summer day with the AC cooling our cozy, peaceful villa.
Your Last Shirt Will Have No Pockets
Do not wait too long to make this move. It was clear that the house was too much for us. We weren’t even using all of the rooms. Jim struggled with the huge property summer and winter. The yard work was endless. We did not want either one of us to be left alone in our house. It was packed full along with a 2-car garage and an attic. No basement, thank God. Give away treasures, even jewelry, to family or friends who will enjoy them. Purge your stuff ruthlessly. I struggled with about 300 clothes hangers after the move. We brought too many towels and bedding. You will be so glad later that you got rid of so much useless weight. As for the auction, you will be lucky to break even after all the new things you will buy for your villa. Have you ever had to clean out a house after a loved one’s death? It is horrible. We refused to leave that last chapter for our family or children. No one should have to do that job. At least here there is a small space which makes it difficult to fill it with things you don’t need anymore. I did have to buy a pancake turner at the Dollar Store after the move. Be sure to take two with you.
Three Angels
I said to Jim, “You’re already into the community in your blog, but I’m not there yet.” I will get to the subject of living here, but now I want to write about the three angels. I was sitting here exhausted while Jim was out someplace on our first night here. I could not get into the kitchen through the tower of unpacked boxes. Nothing to eat. There was a knock at the door. A young woman handed me two meals from the Big House kitchen. (We call the main building the Big House.) I said, “You re an angel from heaven, thank you, you don’t know how much this means to me.” I tried not to cry. That’s when I knew we weren’t going to starve to death. On the contrary, I am now trying to lose the weight I gained from chocolate croissants and moving stress.
The second angel was Debra. I was passed out on the couch on the second day when the doorbell rang. My next door neighbor was there with a welcome card and a gift for us. We liked one another from the first minute we met. I felt as though she could be my sister. What a precious gift of welcome just when I was feeling quite lost.
The third angel visited to bring us all of the information for new residents. She is designated shepherd of our court. Every court has a shepherd who meets with management. She is a musician and we can play together! We are thinking about a Christmas program. We enjoyed meeting each other and I just gained another good friend. How blessed we are with two new couples who have already become good friends. We haven’t even been here a week yet. We were concerned that we would not meet anyone or make friends. They have helped us in ways they will never know.
Making the Decision
We visited a number of retirement communities. The one we chose was a large complex and we felt at home there, plus we could afford the fees and monthly rent. One problem, though. We had a large four bedroom three bath ranch home. I had my own private bathroom. I refused to share a bathroom and demanded a two bath villa. We got a call in a few months that here was a villa available, but alas, only one bathroom. I was asked if we wanted it. I said yes. I had been thinking, who was I to demand my own bathroom? How unreasonable. Believe it or not, that has not been a problem in any way as Jim and I are on different schedules for showers, etc. Lavender scent sticks, some scent spray and you’re all set.
The Three Fates: Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos
In Greek mythology, there were three Fates: Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. Clotho, the spinner, was the youngest of the three goddesses of fate; she spun the thread of fate with a distaff, determining when a person was born; Lachesis measured the length of the thread to determine the length of life; finally, the cruel Atropos cut the thread of life, determining the time of death.
Jim adjusted long before I accepted what we had done. I think women have a harder time making a move to a retirement community. All of the objects I had kept and protected all those years were gone. Well, not all. I took the things I could not live without. Things….those with shelves or drawers because our new home would be very small. All of the rest went to auction and away it all flew like down from a thistle. Well, almost all. Two days before turning the house keys over to the new owner, we were left with a TV cabinet that sold, but was never picked up. We got rid of it by offering it to a vintage store free. We even delivered it to him!
What can you expect from the stress? Possibly a severe attack of hives, extreme sleepiness and a sense of living in an altered state for a while. After the move, I slept….and slept…and napped…thereby proving to myself that I was truly old and belonged here. Then without warning, the idea of a nap seemed rather dim-witted. It was all part of adjusting. Next I will tell you about two angels who came to my door, and how and why we made this decision.