Halloween

I gotta say, I didn’t see this one coming! When we lived in a house in a nearby town, we would get maybe 50 or 60 trick-or-treaters on a Halloween on a good, warm night. If it rained, perhaps 20 kids maximum. Here at Otterbein, there are no children, so we didn’t expect any visitors to show up.

I heard rumblings of plans for the villa courts, and now recall that somewhere a message was seen or heard that residents would not have to buy their own candy, that Otterbein would provide it. But nothing popped up on my radar to move me to action. I imagined a few residents dressing up and giving each other treats. Boy, was I wrong!

The old Boy Scout in me told me to do something, even though I doubted anything needed to be done. We had a flyer from the Big House that told us something vaguely like, “It’s going to be from 4:30 to 6:00.” What “it” was, well, I hadn’t a clue. However, I went to the local store at 2:00 and bought six bags of miniature candy bars. Not very large bags, and even at that, I imagined we’d be eating candy all winter until the chocolate got that white sheen on it that tells you it’s time to toss it out.

Our neighbors, who had moved into Otterbein in November last year were equally clueless and poo-pood my purchase as unnecessary.

Well, I should have guessed what was coming. Otterbein is not exactly in the middle of nowhere, but, as some pundit once quipped, you can see nowhere from your front porch. Houses out here are so far apart that trick-or-treaters would be lucky to score two candy bars before being run off the highway by all the trucks carrying the soybeans that are being harvested right now.

The onslaught started right at 4:30. By 5:00 we were completely out of candy, and the main body of marauding children was still two courts away and advancing rapidly. The staff in the Marketing office had been by at about 4:20 to offer us candy, but we had no idea at that time what was coming and politely turned them down. They were off elsewhere on campus when we ran out.

We had no choice but to retreat to our villa and pull the blinds! Talk about feeling cheap!

So, here’s the lesson learned… Otterbein is a gold mine for the kids. It’s safe, with plenty of parking for families bringing their little gremlins, there’s absolutely no speeding traffic, and certainly no trucks hauling soybeans to the elevators. The residents in the villas (I can’t speak for the apartments) were only too happy to pass out handfuls of candy to the waiting containers, and the children were only too eager to show off their costumes, most of which were assembled with painstaking care and pride.

And Kiki had a ball. She had been petted and fussed over to the point of collapsing. She put herself to bed at 8:00 and is snoring as I write this. Everyone had a fantastic time. Next year, I WILL be prepared!

Villenvy

“As a rule, man is a fool. When it’s hot, he wants it cool; When its cool, he wants it hot. Always wanting, what is not.”

-Benjamin Disraeli

Our friend coined the word “villenvy” from “villa envy”. We all have some upgrades in our villa that the others don’t have. For instance: cathedral ceilings, wall air conditioners (even though we all have central air), a custom sunroom built by a resident. You have to be very careful that you don’t succumb to the “grass is greener” thoughts. This is where it can lead you…to the point where we actually inquired about moving to a larger villa. We could do that for $30,000 and $6.000 more a year in rent. Really? Have we become that berserk? I suddenly realized we could buy new furniture and rearrange our present villa for a lot less and still come out ahead. Plus I think another move would kill me. I have cleaned for weeks, Harvey has planted a hosta garden and improved the landscaping in the entire front yard. Our granddaughter had a saying when she was a toddler: “You get what you get, so don’t throw a fit!” As my neurologist once told our doctor friend: “Keep your mouth shut and put your money under your mattress.” Now……let’s go furniture shopping.

Otterbein Pemberville

I recently got permission from the corporate headquarters to use the real name of our CCRC, so I will use the real names of the streets and buildings, but not of the staff members and residents I write about. For the humans, it’s a matter of their right to privacy.

Otterbein Pemberville, officially Otterbein Senior Life Pemberville, is a full-fledged Continuing Care Retirement Community located in rural Northwest Ohio. What that means is that it comprises independent villas and apartments, assisted living apartments, and a skilled nursing facility, commonly known as a nursing home. The facility boasts an on-campus physician, inpatient and outpatient rehabilitation services, free cable TV, complete snow removal and lawn care, walking trails, onsite banking, and many, many social and learning activities. It even has a chef with his own commercial-grade kitchen and an adjoining dining facility, where breakfast, lunch, and dinner are served at modest prices.

Otterbein Pemberville sits on 162 acres of old farmland. A large portion of it, perhaps one-third, is forested and has apparently never been farmed. The area is peaceful and quiet, though numerous CSX trains pass daily along the western border of the property. There is no thru-traffic or overhead aircraft. Fire and rescue services are provided by a nearby town. Another nearby town offers a butcher shop and small grocery store, both owned by the same family, and all their meat is fresh and local.

The Otterbein Pemberville campus is large, clean, well-manicured, and, most important, it is safe. As part of the lease signing ceremony, we were presented with our very own emergency pendants, which are monitored everywhere on campus, including along most of the walking trails.

Otterbein Pemberville encourages, but does not require, residents to participate in the governing of the facility. There are three committees that answer to the governing Board: Development and Marketing, Finance and Human Resources, and Quality (includes nursing and resident services). Committees make recommendations too, but do not have a vote on, the Board; two elected Resident Director Representatives are actual Board members and each has a vote.

Our campus is made up of 75 independent living villas in five separate courts. The villas range in size from a one-bedroom to a large two-bedroom with a sunrooom. Configurations are as varied as the residents living in them. Rent is based on size of unit, and the Marketing Department handles all queries related to rent.

In addition to the villas, there are approximately 50 independent living apartments in the main building. Sizes range from studio to one bedroom, with one two-bedroom also available. As with the villas, rent varies with the size of the apartment.

Otterbein Pemberville has a brand-new assistant living wing with about 40 apartments on two floors. These apartments are designed for residents with more care needs who generally cannot live independently or who need a temporary residence after an operation or severe illness, such as stroke or heart attack.

Finally, there is a skilled nursing wing for residents with the most acute needs. This is essentially a nursing home, and needs no further description in this blog.

The Dreaded Pendant

Now, here’s something that left me a little gobsmacked… On the day we signed the paperwork to take possession of our villa, one of the last things that Brooke, the marketing person, gave each of us was the “pendant,” a device that dangles on a lanyard around your neck and is designed to save your life if you fall or get attacked by a bear, or whatever. It has a button on it that can be pushed in an emergency, and each and every pendant is monitored 24/7 while you’re on campus. It works like that Life Alert (c) device that you see advertised on cable TV. Well, both Carolyn and I almost went into shock when Brooke handed us our pendants! No, I thought, that is something for old people, and not for me!

There is more to this story… Upon arrival at our villa after leaving the marketing office, we discovered an emergency cord in the bathroom, in case one of us falls in the shower and his or her pendant is dangling on the doorknob, where it generally resides. Okay, I expected to see pendants in every room of the villa, and perhaps in my sock drawer, in case I collapsed while reaching for a clean pair of socks! Well, there are really only three, so my fears were somewhat overblown.

And there is even more to this story… About three months into our occupancy, I had to make a solo trip out of state, leaving Carolyn and Kiki to fend for themselves. Guess what?! Carolyn wore her pendant while I was gone! She said she felt safer wearing it while she was the only adult in the villa. So, the “dreaded” pendant may not be so loathsome, after all, and it could save lives. It has other uses, too, but that’s a subject for a future post.

The Carousel of Time

We can’t return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
“The Circle Game” – Joni Mitchell

We now live in a new community. No matter how lovely your previous home was, you cannot go back. Who would want to go back to the worry and fear about being left as a widow in that huge house? It snowed the first week we moved into our villa. I lay on my bed, looking out the window at the falling snow and felt a strong sense of peace and well-being. The move was over and we had landed at last. Today the house is arranged and Kiki is happy. She was a big worry for me. It turns out that she is quite popular. She enjoys her two walks a day with no cars. Visitors come and go, always petting her. I look back, but I don’t feel any desire to go back. I’ve had years of having to do hours of housework and cleaning so many houses. Like Emily in “Our Town,” I would like to go back to my parents’ house on Clinton Street for one day. I think that the emotions would be too painful, so I’ll stay in the present. Jim just took Kiki for a walk and a man is cutting our grass. No going back, Carolyn.

Don’t Gawk

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

My mother would admonish me if I stared at people with disabilities. She would say, “Don’t gawk!” When you come here, you will see people in all stages of aging, including those who need assistive devices to get around. You will not see children, babies, teenagers or motorcyclists. At first it was shocking to see some of the people who are really old. I didn’t think I belonged here. I have trouble walking and tire easily. Jim always says, “There’s a reason we’re here.” There are many more women residents than men. Some people tell you the same story or ask the same questions again and again. You have to be patient. Be compassionate. We are one of the lucky couples still together. I take care of the house and organization. Jim does all of the heavy lifting. I feel like a whiny little b—h when I see others here who are alone or frail. You will think at first that you made the wrong decision. What are your other options? Stay in your home into your eighties and let someone else decide where you will go? You can choose your own CCRC while you are still healthy in mind and body. Just remember, when you first move in, “Don’t Gawk!”

Life and Death

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
James 4:14

The decision to move to a CCRC is coupled with an acceptance that we are truly going to die. This is not an easy thing….to hold two distinct beliefs…that you should live fully after this move and yet you are probably going to die here. Well, you have to die somewhere. We lived on a small drive surrounded by six other houses. Ten years in our house while there were 5 deaths, one house fire (a total loss), one cancer case, one stroke, and one heart attack survivor on our short street. Death is everywhere. It doesn’t care that you live in a CCRC. It can find you when the time comes. We already have our plot and funerals paid for, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept the inevitable. Jim said it best: “This is NOT a nursing home.” There is one, though, if and when we need it. Assisted Living, Skilled Nursing, Hospice, then mercifully and finally, Your Flight is on Time.

Making New Friends

Early in the evening of our first day in our new home, there was a knock at the door, and our dog, Kiki, made sure we knew there was someone standing outside. That’s how we met Jackson and Betty, our neighbors on our left. In an instant, we had new friends. When you meet kindred spirits, it’s almost magical how quickly you can bond with them. Jackson and Betty were just completing their fifth year at Otterbein Pemberville, and needed us as much as we needed them, as the residents on our court were getting a little long in the tooth. Within days, the four of us were setting up activities and planning future outings. Jackson is a retired contractor/builder and has considerable handyman skills that helped us negotiate the usual hiccups that go with any move. Carolyn has written in a separate post of how we met our other neighbors, Debra and Paul, so I won’t go into any detail about that here.

When I joined the Army after high school, I was thrown into a mix of every race, creed, and education level, and all of us got along fine, because we were “soldiers.” In a CCRC, all residents are essentially equal, kinda like the Army, though without the regimen and drill sergeants! The rule I live by to get along with all my neighbors is to leave religion and politics at the front door. Friendships without politics or religion can be deep and rewarding. What really counts is intellect, and there’s plenty of it in a CCRC. What you have in common with all the residents is that you made the choice to live there.

You’ll make new friends easily, and you don’t have to give up your old ones. A CCRC is a great equalizer, because basically nobody has any more than anyone else. You’ll be surrounded by people of pretty much the same social and economic class as you, because your fellow residents have probably the same amount of money as you, and in the USA, that’s what defines you, like it or not. Besides, the rich will go their own way.

Storage

Storage will always be a problem for renters, and our villa is a rental. The house we moved from had a large crawl space, which we did not use, and lots of attic space. Funny how quickly an attic can fill up. After all, you’re taking stuff up there only one box at a time. When it came time to move, I spent two afternoons pulling the stuff back down and then vacuuming the entire area. Not fun.

Much of what I pulled down went to auction or into the dumpster. Actually, dumpsters, plural. The city we lived in dropped off a 3-cubic-yard dumpster, which I filled, and later another, which I also filled. Some of the items I tossed probably could have gone to the auction or a yard sale, but it was January, and I didn’t have the patience for any of that.

Our villa has a one-car garage with a single shelf on each side, extending the full length of the garage. A lot of storage space, but nowhere near enough. So, multiple trips to Lowe’s for plastic storage shelves that couldn’t be more than 14 inches deep, or the car wouldn’t fit in the garage!

If you’re going to be buying new beds when you move into your villa or apartment, consider one that has storage space underneath. One of our beds has just such a thing, and we’ve put its storage space to good use. The other bed has about 3 inches of clearance underneath, and probably will be replaced in the near future.

The lesson to be learned here is, as I’ve written before, downsize BEFORE you move, and bring bookshelves with you, if you have them. Unlike moving from one house to another, moving to a villa/apartment will most likely be about a four-month process to get completely settled in. Even with tremendous planning, you’ll probably be making multiple trips to Goodwill, a consignment store, or the local landfill after your move.

Downsize First, Then Move

Thanks to our downsizing BEFORE we moved, the recently-emptied moving van pulled away from our villa by mid-afternoon. Nothing to see here, folks, just a bunch of boxes and two exhausted renters. Truth be told, the place was a disaster! The kitchen was totally inaccessible and the TV sat, unplugged, on the living room floor. We should have gone out to eat, but didn’t want to abandon our dog, Kiki, after uprooting her from the only home she had ever known. We knew that setting up the villa would go so much more smoothly with only half of our possessions.

CCRC villas and apartments are smaller than you might like. Our villa is half the size of our previous home, though the kitchen (pictured at left) is comparable to our old one, and possibly even a little larger. Getting rid of half your possessions isn’t as hard as you might think. Decide what you want to take and auction off the rest! To accomplish this, draw a schematic of your new villa/apartment and lightly draw furniture in the rooms with a pencil. I used a software program to do this and got a computer virus for my troubles! When everything has been placed, you’ll quickly see what must be auctioned or sold. The money we made from the auction was used to buy new smaller pieces of furniture that were more appropriate for the villa.